For the past thirteen years, as England became an increasingly unhappy and fearful place, Prince Charles has been living quietly on a bleak council estate, The Flower Exclusion Zone (known locally as ‘The Fez), with his wife and love of his life, Camilla. He enjoys gardening and poultry keeping while Camilla spends her days doing as little as possible, alongside their fellow ASBO-subjected neighbours. But life is about to change ... Charles refuses to follow his destiny unless his wife can be Queen – and public opinion suggests the people would rather have Jordan than Camilla on the throne. But no sooner has Prince William offered himself as the next monarch, than one Graham Cracknall of Ruislip emerges – claiming to be Charles and Camilla’s secret love child, and therefore the rightful heir to the crown.