Something's wrong in Stewart Dagman's life. The party invitations that used to read 'Bring Bottles and First Aid kit. Eight till police raid' now say 'Ben is one. Help us celebrate. Please leave quietly before afternoon nap.' Life is moving on, and Dag wants to move with it. All he dreams of is someone to love, a family of his own and a half indecent sex life. So what happens when those dreams come true? Twice. In a week. How will his friend Henderson react to being left alone and balding 'in the howling wilderness of single life'? And is it really possible to get rickets through the over-use of anti-ageing UV cream?